The Nun Who Allowed Bad Things to Happen, a fairy tale for enlightenment
Whispered songs of long ago rattle trees ’til they drop their leaves and sleep. Dark days come, the season of storytelling to pass the time. Shutter the windows and come by the fire. The crone is wrapped in her shawl and ready to tell her tiny tale, so open your mind and heart and find what meaning you will.
There once was a nun who loved God but secretly longed for a life she believed could never be hers.
It so happened one day that as she tended garden in her abbey, a traveling minstrel did sing her a song in exchange for carrots and onions. The nun cried abundant tears at his song of far-flung lands and courtly love.
The minstrel, for his part, fell in love with the nun and suggested this: “Leave behind your life for God and marry me, for you are beautiful and I am lonely.” The nun cried anew for she did love God. Still, the two married the very next day.
Soon enough, the nun-wife knew she had made a mistake. The world was not safe. She saw men abuse their wives (though hers did not, praise God). She witnessed the murder of innocents for their meager purses, and the suffering of children who did starve in their filth.
The nun-wife begged to return to the safety of the abbey. But it was too late, too late. For her minstrel-husband did love her and would not give her up.
Plague arrived and swept the countryside. “Lord God,” the nun-wife prayed in horror, “why do you allow such suffering? Is it because we sin? Is it punishment for our lack of faith? I cannot bear it. Please, help me understand, or else how can I love you?”
She survived the plague. Her minstrel-husband did not, and so she burned his poor body. After this, the nun-wife-widow felt angry and in fear all the time, for she knew God could not be trusted in the end. The world was not safe. It was then she gave up all hope of happiness and peace.
In despair, she found work as a servant and accepted earthly life exactly as it was, without hoping it could be anything different.
A strange thing happened.
The nun-wife-widow often found herself in wonder over a singing bird. A blanket in winter. The taste of onion soup. Such ordinary things delighted her as they never had before.
And when she came upon a man abusing his wife, she did befriend the woman and sing her the minstrel-husband’s songs. She walked without fear along mud roads beloved by thieves, noticing the flowers. When she laid eyes upon starving and filthy children, she did what she could, chasing them to the river to wash and sharing food from her garden.
Years later, plague came again, and the nun-wife-widow lay at the edge of death. She was not angry. She was not afraid. For by this time she was quite practiced at expecting nothing to be different than how it was. She was quite willing to open her eyes and choose a good purpose for whatever came upon her.
Her eyes were open as she died, and when she saw God, she saw herself.
Heaven on earth is like this.
So. Why does God allow suffering? Well, find out. You allow suffering to be, and see what happens.
In this story there’s no answer to why bad things happen. Instead, the nun-wife-widow inadvertently emulates her God: She allows. To be clear: SHE ACCEPTS REALITY.
Humans desperately try to control life and thus expect God to be about the same business. No matter this desire to be in control delivers neurosis rather than peace. Really think on this. What happens when you believe you need to take control and make something be different than it is? How does it feel?
Can you see the insanity of insisting reality not be what it is? Small wonder well-meaning people are drowning in stress.
Notice that when the nun-wife-widow surrenders to reality, her relationship to the world is brand new. She’s born again. And notice she doesn’t disengage and sit in a useless heap, all uncaring about anything.
On the contrary, she quite naturally does what comes to her to do.
‘And it was good.’ (Mysterious, isn’t it?)